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Previous Entry Mar. 23rd, 2006 @ 04:08 pm Next Entry
okay too much caffeine. whoa. must calm down, am super jittery. CALM YOSELF.

blahblityblahblahblah. so i am decorating my apartment. it's good stuff! i am going to paint a big thingie for our wall on one of my leftover canvases that i have at home, to match the print i got at urban outfitters. it's very simple and bright and cute in pretty monochromatic shades. anyhoo, i am excited. and ever since i discovered how AWESOME zipcar is (it doesn't hurt that there is a huge SUV that is almost always available that is parked right outside my apartment) i am scouring craigslist for cheap, cool finds. i am very very excited. this is the first time that i feel that i truly have a space for myself. senior year i SHARED a bedroom, which made it feel like a dorm room and so i kind of decorated accordingly. and now i finally have this huge, bright living room that is practically empty so i will jazz it up. yayayayay. excited. my roommates and i are picking up another couch today. and tomorrow i am stopping after work at urban to pick up some more stuff...they are having a big sale on their home stuff, which is usually kind of ridiculously priced but it's cute and a lot of it is super cheap now.

speaking of work tomorrow, ew. i am supposed to have the day off but alas it is our staff "retreat". when i first heard we were having a retreat i pictured us in the middle of the woods doing those trust exercises where you have to crawl through a net or stand in a circle and fall. or i thought there'd be some kind of camp fire, hopefully with s'mores. nope. we are going bowling. WTF. it is not a retreat when you walk up the street to lucky strike with your coworkers. and the worst part is before that, we have to sit in some random office building and discuss how to build our team and ways to improve and crappity crap crap like that. i guess it beats a normal day at work but really, what is the point of this? it's just going to be rhetoric about ways we could theoretically improve the way we work but nothing will change. most of what sucks about our jobs is beyond our control. ridiculous deadlines, having to kiss OMB's ass, etc. so what is this going to change? i wish we could just do the fun part of the day, mexican food and bowling. we are also supposed to suggest a motto for our staff. is it bad that the first thing that came to my mind was "i wish i could quit you"? i am so gonna suggest that as a joke. i know rick will get it, since he's practically got a shrine to brokeback mountain in his cubicle. but i need to come up with a serious motto and i don't know if i can fake the enthusiasm.

i have no better idea of what i want to go with my life than i did one year ago when graduation was approaching. but at least i am on the right track. at least i am getting experience and am saving some money and forming connections. this job is kind of a mixed bag...sucks because i hate working in finance, but is great because i can use a background in budget ANYWHERE. people are extremely impressed that i work in a CFO's office at a $7 billion a year agency. i mean, if they knew what i did half the day, they wouldn't be, but nonetheless, it's knowledge and experience that will be applicable in any situation, regardless of what that may be. so i guess it's a good thing, in a way, that i didn't just end up in a job where i would be doing something i'm already "good" at and keeping my ascension up the job ladder rather narrow. this way i am making myself well-rounded and a good candidate for grad school and future jobs. and the meantime i will grit my teeth and just get through it. it's not so bad. i mean, i've been here over 8 months now. and when i hit the one year mark, i will likely switch to a different area of the EPA and get some experience there. and get as far the hell away from budget as possible.

i am not a grownup. i am not responsible. seriously. i've been putting off all the stuff i really need to get taken care of. the dry cleaning and alterations i need, dentist and doctors appointments, etc. etc. booo to me. but i have learned how to tango. that's pretty awesome, right? plus i am taking vitamins now. and i do floss almost every day. so...i'm doing okay, right?

grrr. this day has been rather long. i should go do some actual work now. reprogrammings, fun. peace out.
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